The Blogo-verse

So it turns out that my foray into the blogging lifestyle has been noticed. Perhaps I should have been more careful. Perhaps I should have waded slower into the murky depths. At any rate, the environment that I have discovered here is somewhat unexpected. What is especially difficult to withstand is the berating and belittling attitude of vistors to this site. The sheer magnitude of which has forced me to consider the issues raised.

With this harsh reality setting in, I'd like to pass on a number of practices I have learned in my short time of blogging:

1. Post all the time. Even if you have nothing to say. This is an obvious result of the huddled masses who are panting for the inspired genius that flows from the mighty blog. Without the comforting words that you provide, there would not be electricty or escalators or evergreens.
2. Post still more. Once again, I cannot stress this enough. If you aren't posting people will get nervous. They will start thinking: "Maybe he doesn't like me anymore." or "Why won't he return my comments" or "I thought things were going fine and then he dumped me and now my heart is shatter-ed". To avoid these emotional mishaps, the lesson learned is post. Post until you wish you'd never started the stupid thing in the first place...and then post on how you wish you'd never started the stupid thing...and then post on that. You see how the circle of life continues.
3. Use a bigger font. Some people need canes and some people need breath mints, but still other people need glasses. I spend the majority of my time in front of a computer. I guess I am attuned to any size of font now. I don't even bother going to the optomitrist anymore because I can read the copyright verbage at the bottom of the eye chart. Whoever said computers are detrimental to your eyesight can shove off. I'm like 60/20 now or something... That said, I ain't gun-ta change the size of the font. It's ludicriously small, and that's just fine with me. Besides it makes me look smarter because it appears as thought I write more, which is what I thought the point of this was in the first place.

So there you have it. That's what I have learned in my limited blogging days. To those ingrates who can find nothing but fault, I'd remind them of the wonderful analogy I am about to draw:
You wouldn't throw an infant into the ocean and expect it to swim, likewise don't expect a person with a life to post all the time.

Or as Walt Whitman would say: Boo-yah!

Tell me that wasn't apt.