Thursday, March 30, 2006


You know how the "coolest" words always have bad connotations. Sure, that may be a gross over-statement, but then I couldn't get anything to make sense for what I am about to present.

My mother always gets me a "Forgotten English" calendar for Christmas every year. Basically, it is a desk calendar with one bizarre, antiquated English word for every day. Some are garbage and it is quite obvious why they were forgotten, but some are pure genius and the simple fact they have been neglected is a cataclysmic oversight by English-speaking people.

For example, I present to you the Hall of Fame of words from this year's calendar.

Park the biscuit - To sit down
Jank-hole - The privy (toilet) -- I mean come on this one is awesome.
Square dinkham - Okay.... seriously it means O.K.
Nullifidian - One of no faith; a sceptic in matters of religion

Those are a smattering of some of the awesome words that we have not used in the English language for some time. I'd like to initate a movement that starts using these words again. So from now on, when I would like to use your facilities I will say:

"Oi there, I'd like to park my bisuit in the jank-hole, square dinkham?"

Frankly it sounds far dirtier than the "Hey, I'd like to use the bathroom, okay?" would imply.

There's nothing like a crusade to re-add words to an already overloaded language. Goooooo English....striving for 1,000,000 words by 2020.


Blogger kerux said...

"Oi there, I'd like to park my bisuit in the jank-hole, square dinkham?"

If you say that in my house I will smack you.

Thank you.

1:21 p.m.  
Blogger JLF said...

I don't know man... I'm all for it, but there's no way I could remember what the words themselves are, nevermind what they mean.

Besides, I'm with Paul... if you said something like that to me, I'd probably reply with something like, "Park your own biscuit, you dinkham jank-hole!" Or something...

10:50 p.m.  
Blogger Der_Arbeiter said...

You don't need to know what the words mean. That's the whole point of the English language -- everything can mean whatever you want it to. But see I do have a problem with your reiteration, which roughly translated would be: "Sit down you okay toilet". Now that's just crazy-talk.

8:52 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! » »

12:09 a.m.  

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